"...i'm not sad, but i'm not happy either..."
how do you begin to describe something you dont understand? how can you feel so much anxiety building up and not know where its coming from? it's like waking up in the morning and knowing that you should be looking forward to what's in store for you that day, but somehow you feel something is lacking. what's worse is you can't place why.
it's when you know you are happy but you can't smile. like the unphantomable sadness you feel after losing somebody you love, words and tears are not enough to give justice to the intensity of what you feel.
i remember a line from the movie "if only" "...how do you love somebody so much and not know how to love them..." it's ironic how people can feel so much and yet not know how to express it.
i'm writing, not because i'm feeling something or plainly thinking out loud. i'm writing because i want to understand. i'm hoping that if the lines are on paper, it would make sense after reading it over and over again.
maybe they would...eventually.
♥MONOKURO BOO♥