i dont know if it was only yesterday or a couple of days ago that i was at a loss for things to blog about. seems like everytime things are on its peak, something happens to mess things up.
we argued again. for the past few weeks we have been arguing constantly. tonight we said more than we should have. i'm both angry, and sad...but most of all i'm starting to feel fed up. maybe he is feeling that way too. maybe after tonight we'd really break up. i love him, there is not a certain doubt in my mind about that single fact. however, from previous relationships, i've learned that couples don't last just because of love. there should be compromise between both parties and that i think is something that we lack. i can't talk to him in the manner i prefer because he's not confrontational. though i've tried to send out messages in a way that he is more accustomed to but i think it's all in vain. we argue over the same petty things. he thinks i'm narrow minded and i like to blow things out of proportion. i think he does'nt listen enough to understand. at this point, i don't trust him. he broke that last week after i answered his mobile and talked to his "girlfriend". he denied it, which is expected. after that, i still took the risk and plunged back into the deep, dark, uncharted waters we call a relationship. i forgave him but i did'nt forget. more often than not, i'd be seen scanning through his messages hoping to catch him doing foul play again. he gets ticked off. as far as i'm concerned, i have the right to be suspicious. trust is hard to earn once lost, and i don't think he realizes that. so aside from petty arguements, we have this problem.
and i'm not sure if we'd survive each other. i'm not sure if we'd even get past that 2nd month milestone. i'm not sure of anything right now. all i know is that if he decides things are not gonna work out, i'd let him walk away. i'd cry, and i'd drink...but i'll let him go. because if there is also one thing i've learned, it is you don't walk away when things are going wrong. you don't take the easy way out.
like one of my dear friends told me.."nobody said that the road to true love was made easy..." so i believe that if he loves me he should also be ready to go through hell and back to be with me...and to stay with me. because that's what i'm willing to do for you...even if i know you may not be worth it...
♥MONOKURO BOO♥