Monday, October 23, 2006 12:09 PM
Saddest Poem
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."
The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.
To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.
What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.
That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.
As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.
The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.
I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she oncebelonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.
Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.
Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.
Pablo Neruda
♥MONOKURO BOO♥
Monday, October 16, 2006 3:45 PM
IN REMEMBERING...
I’ve come to the conclusion that… if having things turn out the way you wanted them to… is a measure of a successful life…Then, some would say I’m a failure.
The important thing is; not to be bitter over life’s disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognise that every day,… won’t be sunny. But when you find yourself--lost in the darkness of despair…
Remember, it’s only in the black of night…that you can see the stars. And those stars--will lead you back home.
So, don’t be afraid to make mistakes. To stumble and fall. Coz, most of the time,--the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most.
Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for…
Maybe, you’ll get more than you ever could’ve imagined.
Who knows where--life will take you.
The road is long, and in the end,--the journey is the destination.
COACH DURNHAM
excerp from one tree hill
...george sent me lines from this message before.back when we were having this huge fight...back when i almost gave up on him...i'm glad i did,nt. there are days when i'd feel like giving up, and i know that there are times he feels that way too...but i'm happy because even if things are crappy we still try to hold on to each other, and maybe that is what's important...and i hope that would be enough for us to make it through together...
♥MONOKURO BOO♥
Sunday, October 15, 2006 2:04 PM
A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE...
i dont know how many times i have heard myself complain of the uncomfortable silence i often share with my george. i always thought that it was a bad thing...but maybe i was wrong. while browsing through some of the most memorable love movie lines, i have stumbled upon this...
"...dont you hate that? uncomfortable silence. why do we feel its necessary to talk about bull in order to feel comfortable? that's when you know you've found somebody really special. when you can't just shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence..."
it did'nt even indicated who said it or what movie it was from...
maybe some uncomfortable silence is a good thing...i just hope our's is though...
♥MONOKURO BOO♥
Wednesday, October 11, 2006 8:03 PM
"...maybe the past is like an anchor that is holding us back. maybe you have to let go of who you were...in order to become who you wanna be...-carrie bradshaw"
♥MONOKURO BOO♥
12:58 PM
TOO MUCH OF SOMETHING IS NEVER GOOD
for the last couple of days, i have been feeling heavy. there has been this need to isolate myself from the others...not to mention george. i dont know if this is about him or this is just about me. lately, i dont feel the need to be next to him or to be with him. maybe it has been after the realization that im going to start depending on myself for my happiness.
whenever im in a relationship, i tend to be dependent on my partner's or the relationship's current state. it's like i cant detach certain aspects of my life from it. my mood would always depend on where the relationship is going. so one day i decided that im not going to be "that" affected. im going to stop thinking about where he might be and why he is'nt texting me. i would stop pissing people off just because im pissed at him. i would'nt care if he informs me about his plans to go out or not. i would stop being clingy...im not exactly sure how, but i'd stop.
and so i did.
first time i came back to work after that realization, i was a little sad. i knew if i do what was planned, it would mean i'd start caring less...meaning id be loving him a little less everyday. what really surprised me is how comfortable i am with that...with not caring or not bothering at all. i really felt the change and i bet he can tell it to. im just so sick and tired of thinking about him when he is'nt considerate enough to tell me things i need to know. somebody once told me that he might not be the person i think he is or maybe i should stop building a certain image or definition on what a partner is. he said i am typically idealistic...and that i expect too much from a relationship.
so right now, i can say i am less of the idealist that i was a week ago...but im also not in love with my partner the way i was a week ago...
♥MONOKURO BOO♥
