i'm so tired of writing about our petty arguements and misunderstandings... this blog has been a shrine of nothing but my rantings about our so called "relationship".
we argue and we patch things up only to repeat the same mistakes over and over...we never learn.
yesterday i did something other people might consider stupid... funny, but i feel anything but stupid now.
yesterday, i know i have crossed some borders and i know i would'nt be able to retrace my steps, not that it matters because i'm really starting not to care. i had a great time and it made me forget all my woes even for just a few hours. we had this animated conversation about specifically nothing at all but none the less i felt good. i have'nt been able to connect like that with my current beau, which is the only reason why i am a little sad.
the person i was with yesterday listened to me, and i think that is one of the greatest things that he ever did for me. he was'nt half there...he was'nt physically present but mentally absent...which is more than i could say about you hon.
he was not pretending to listen like what you are apparently very good at...he genuinely cared...and more than anything that breaks my heart...because he was everything that you should be...
... and yet i do not have the heart to walk away from "us". even if sometimes i think that the concept of us being "us" is just a fragment of my imagination.
♥MONOKURO BOO♥